Gene Simmons announces his final tour with KISS

He kisses everything goodbye

Fresh from Europe, moved to Australia, born in Israel as Chaim Witz, multi-millionaire Gene Simmons says this is his last tour.

“Rock’n’roll is dead. Beatles, Stones, Elvis, Madonna, Disco, Motown, David Bowie, Kiss, Metallica have stood the test of time. Now fans have stopped paying for the music. It’s the internet, social media, streaming, artists earning hundredths of a percent of a penny. I can’t keep up with downloading, legislation, minimum wage laws. Write songs and be a performer, it’s now pennies for your work.

I whispered that Streisand had done 40 lucrative farewell tours.

“I am almost 73 years old. I’m wearing 40 pounds of armor and 7 inch wedge dragon boots. The physique makes it the last tour. I can’t sit on a chair choosing a guitar like blues musicians. I know you can’t stay on stage too long. You better get off while it’s okay.

“My mom and I, 8 ¹/₂, flew to El Al in 1958. On a box called TV we’d never seen before, we saw it all big. People, buildings, superheroes , cartoons. Only a country like America could like that.

“Now I’m in the Noble artificial intelligence company, the Rock restaurant chain, three casinos, the Gene Simmons Group, a crypto operation and a whole lot of stuff.”

Happily married to Shannon, he claims he’s slept with 5,000 women, so – he realized he lacked the strength to tour. And this last tour — how many cities?

“Probably 100.”

Jo Hoy has a new movie and describes it as “my family bickering, eating, drinking.  Literally my life.  Comedy and mayhem, all legitimate, taking place in one day.  Steven Spielberg produces.
Jo Hoy has a new movie and describes it as “my family bickering, eating, drinking. Literally my life.
Christopher Willard/ABC via Getty Images

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‘Easter’ comes in August

CHELSEA Handler’s ex, Filipino comedian Jo Koy, has a new movie ‘Easter Sunday’.

Koy: “It’s my family bickering, eating, drinking. Literally my life. Comedy and mayhem, all legitimate, taking place in one day. Steven Spielberg produces.

Co-star Tia Carrere: “I played Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Thai. Never Filipino. I finally represent my true ethnicity. And Tiffany Haddish: “I’ve never seen a movie like ‘Easter Sunday’.” What does that mean, I don’t know.

This Thing Nobody’s Seen Before can be seen in theaters this weekend.

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bits & bobs

DISCOVERY Network’s Henry Schleiff at Polo celebrating Nelson DeMille’s new Oct. 11 book ‘The Maze’. Its protagonist John Corey can grab a series of movies. . .

THINK Elon tacky or icky? Mom Maye Musk’s “Team” lists interview requirements: what we approve or cancel meeting, send questions to review beforehand, read her book before interview. So far, this partial list omits buying one of his cars.

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His name is Dino

America the beautiful. Washington is the only president who has not blamed any previous administration for his problems. Congress and Senate? Unpredictable. You never know what life-threatening issues they won’t do anything about.

If Joe falls and breaks his crown, Kamala falls after. With a taster and an English teacher. Biden? Knows a lot. He just can’t remember. He stands on his backrest so no one can see him. Do powerful interests control it? It’s “Leave my family out of this”.

Also: Journalists are warned not to discuss advanced human years. Not to mention he once had a pet dinosaur.

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And let this president know that, according to East Coast aging experts, the best 10 years of a head of state’s life are between the ages of 55 and 79.

Maybe New York, kids, maybe New York.

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